Real Chiefs
submitted by ATCS Jose "Harley" Krowitz
Just in case you were wondering what REAL CHIEFS are made of....
Oh yeah, just in case you are one of those "sensitive-types," this is HUMOR, and should be taken as such. --Punisher--
- REAL CHIEFS: don't eat quiche; they can't even pronounce it.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't have any civilian clothes.
- REAL CHIEFS: have CPO Association Cards from their last 5 commands.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't remember anytime they weren't Chiefs.
- REAL CHIEFS: have a coffee pot next to their desk with a tube
running from it to their arms.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't write in script, except for their paycheck signature.
- REAL CHIEFS: propose like this: "There will be a wedding at 1000 hours
on 29 October; be there in whites with your gear packed because you will
be a prime participant."
- REAL CHIEFS: favorite national holiday is CPO Initiations.
- REAL CHIEFS: keep 4 sets of dress khaki uniforms in the closet in hopes
they will come back.
- REAL CHIEFS: favorite food is shipboard SOS for breakfast.
- REAL CHIEFS: wish mess cooking was still a Navy Tradition, 'cause they
don't have to pull it.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't know how to tell civilian time.
- REAL CHIEFS: call each other "Chief."
- REAL CHIEFS: greatest fear is signing for property book items.
- REAL CHIEFS: dream in Navy Blue, White, Haze Gray and occasionally khaki
thrown in for good measure.
- REAL CHIEFS: have served on ships that are now war memorials or tourist
attractions.
- REAL CHIEFS: get tears in their eyes when the "Chief" dies in the movie
"Operation Pacific."
- REAL CHIEFS: call their wife, CINC-HOUSE.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't like Certified Navy Twill. "Wash Khaki" is the only
"#$%*&#%$" thing to make a uniform out of.
- REAL CHIEFS: can find their way to the Stag Bar in CPO Clubs blindfolded,
on 15 different Navy Bases.
- REAL CHIEFS: have pictures of ships in their wallets instead of their
wife and kids.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't own any pens that do not have "Property U.S. Govt"
on them.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't voluntarily get the mandatory flu shots.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't order supplies, they swap for them.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't drink, not since the invention of the funnel.
- REAL CHIEFS: love quotes. Their favorite is from the movie, BEN HUR:
"We keep you alive to serve this ship."
- REAL CHIEFS: don't curse like Bos'n Mates. Bos'ns curse like Real Chiefs.
- REAL CHIEFS: can name 15 bars in Wanchai, Hong Kong, but know that the
best bars are across the bay in Kowloon.
- REAL CHIEFS: are at sea when their kids are born.
- REAL CHIEFS: think that a 7 course meal, is a hot dog and a 6 pack of beer.
- REAL CHIEFS: think excessive modesty is their only fault.
- REAL CHIEFS: hate to write evaluations, except for their own.
- REAL CHIEFS: turn in a 4 page brag sheet for their evaluation.
- REAL CHIEFS: last ship was always better.
- REAL CHIEFS: don't make coffee.
- REAL CHIEFS: know that the black tar in their coffee cup makes the coffee
taste better.
- REAL CHIEFS: idea of heaven, is 3 good PO-1's and a Division Officer who
does what he is told.
- REAL CHIEFS: Are the only people that can make Ensign sound like a four
letter word.
- REAL CHIEFS: think that Ensigns should be seen and not heard, and never,
ever, be allowed to read books on leadership.
- REAL CHIEFS: think John Wayne would have made a good Chief, if he had not gone
soft and made Marine movies.
- REAL CHIEFS: are hated by Supply Officers, who have to take inventory
after the Chief pays a social call.
- REAL CHIEFS: use the term "Good Training" to describe any unpleasant task.
Scraping the sides of the ship is "Good Training." Spending the night
drinking and getting sick the next day is "Good Training." Having to
sleep on your seabag in the parking lot because there was no room in the
barracks is "Good Training."